My Week With The Devil Dragon

My wife had to go to New York for a few days with the group that she takes every year. Which means I had to watch all the animals. The dogs don’t particularly bother me. On some level, we came to an agreement on two of the three. My issue is the Bearded Dragon that she has. I don’t particularly mess with it often other than to keep it from nose diving off of the bed or the couch when she has it out.

I didn’t really agree to this one at all. My wife is great at finding loop holes because it was suppose to stay at school as a school pet. Something that she would have to feed once a week. I wouldn’t even know she had one. I think that lasted all of 2 or 3 weeks. She brings it home on breaks and every summer…and this is her second one.

I don’t remember how I got out of having to watch her last year but I can remember not having to. This year, I wasn’t so lucky. I’m not afraid of the dragon or anything like that, I just think its racist. I have my reasons. Allow me to give you a few.

She hisses every time I go to pick her up.

She will dig her claws into me. When I go to pick her up.

She positions herself where I can’t pick her up without rearranging just about all the stuff in her tank

Now, you may say that maybe it’s just me and you could be right, but I don’t believe so. I fed this thing 5 days in a row and everyday she did the same thing every.single.time. It was a struggle for dominance between us and I won. My plan this fall is to sign her up for DE&I courses or something. Maybe that will help.